You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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