Dual....:-)
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
