is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
