I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
