just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize