You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
