yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
