I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I will be naked everywhere
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
