im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
