i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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