I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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