You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize