So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
