In the future we'll all be gay
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
