I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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