i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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