he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
