she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
