im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
