apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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