Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
