I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
