She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
