Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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