Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize
