Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Life is so much better after having sex.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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