Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
