you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
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