Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
