My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
