he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
