your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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