I cannot find my penis.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
