Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
