I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
