I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
