Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize