piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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