Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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