You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
