All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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