Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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