Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize