there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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