There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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