normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
