you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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