Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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