I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
