You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
