I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
