I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
