OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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