I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
