just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
