I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
