dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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