so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
