He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
