just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
