yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Hippo gnu deer
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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