You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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