he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
