My friends, they love my intelligence
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize