do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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