Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It was confusing and full of hummus
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize