We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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