We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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