Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
