East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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