I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
