He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
