Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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