Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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